For the third day in a row now my ex has dropped off the Bean not appropriately dressed. Two days in a row without a jacket/short sleeve t-shirt and finally today she was late for school with only a windbreaker for 40 degree weather. But at least she did listen when I asked her to dry the Bean's hair, that's been dry this week. Thanks to the advice from those of you out there I have begun a more informative dialogue with her concerning issues like this, but I really do despise its neccessity.

The Girlfriend and I were watching Law & Order the other night and the episode really started to make me think. The premise was that a genetic condition determined the outcome of your life and you were not to be blamed. In haste I agreed that this was a bogus conclusion, but now I'm beginning to rethink it. My ex is never responsible for anything. If she's late it's because the Bean didn't get out of the shower quick enough (the Bean is five, not 16, it is the Mothers responsibilty). If the Bean didn't eat it was because she wasn't hungry (although she's always hungry in the morning) or if she forgot something, it was because the schedule was changed. So, with that in mind, I have to conclude that the gene that causes responsibility for ones owns actions in the my ex-wife must be defective. Not partially, or even slightly mutated, but grotesquely disfigured in a severe and permanent way. I didn't notice this during the marriage mostly due to the amount of time I was gone (military) and the hazy bliss of love - but do take full responsibilty for my lack of observance. But it's easy to see now that the haze has been cleared and the clarity with which I can see through the facade has been magnified by other eyes.

I will be discussing the jacket issue with her. But like the hair issue, I'll get some response that reflects her defective responsibility gene. "I thought the sister-in-law was supposed to put her jacket on her." or "Oh, she's only in the cold a little." or even better "Well, you haven't given me a new jacket for her this year!" Or some other amazing and deft "not my fault" excuse. It's tiring, but the Bean is worth every agonizing second and as they say - If you can't do the time, don't do the crime. I only wish, in this case, the one being truly punished was me, not the Bean.